November is National Family Caregivers’ Month, a time to recognize the millions of people who provide care to loved ones facing medical issues or age-related challenges. Being a caregiver can be incredibly stressful, especially since it often becomes a 24/7 responsibility that goes unpaid. As a secondary caregiver myself to my beautiful and young mom with late-stage early-onset Alzheimer’s, I know firsthand how overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally complicated this role can be.

Dr. Taylor Rush, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, notes just how widespread unpaid caregiving is in the United States. “In the US, we have 53 million unpaid caregivers that are providing over 36 billion hours of unpaid care. And so, they face a whole host of issues related to how they’re able to care for their loved one, how they’re able to care for themselves.” 

Because family caregivers frequently put their own needs last, they can experience depression, anxiety, and exhaustion. That’s why self-care plays such a critical role. It allows caregivers to recharge so they can show up as the best version of themselves for the person they’re caring for. Dr. Rush adds that self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant. Simple activities like meditating, practicing deep breathing, taking a walk, catching up on sleep, or reading a book at a coffee shop can make a meaningful difference. Caregivers can also ask a friend or relative to step in so they can take a much-needed break.

However, asking for help can be difficult for many caregivers, who often feel guilty or worry it means they’re not doing enough.

“Caregivers think that asking for help means they’re not doing their job, they’re not enough, and there is this associated feeling of guilt. And really so what we know from the most successful care stories is that it takes a village,” Dr. Rush explained. “Who is your village? And sometimes those are individuals that are already in your life, sometimes that may be individuals that you employ, but how can you create a village even in some small ways to make sure that the care is not just you because that usually ends up being an unsustainable circumstance.”

As we enter the holiday season, Dr. Rush encourages people to consider helping the caregivers in their lives. Even small gestures can lighten their load: offering to do chores or run errands, spending time with the person they care for, or giving a gift card for a food delivery service so they don’t have to worry about cooking.